I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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