I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
