So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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