i just wanna soil my oats bro
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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