Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Be still, my beating vagina.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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