Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
