She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
