some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
