operation have a gay friend backfired
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
