I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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