He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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