on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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