thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
