i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
