I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
