He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
