who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
