Don't make out with my wife yet
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
