If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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