She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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