How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
