too bad you live with your parents still
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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