if only i could text you this smell
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
