i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
