My room smells like vodka and shame
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
