At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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