I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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