Christians are straight up FREAKS
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
