i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Come see our sink grown plant.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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