You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
