I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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