When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
