Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
my poor anus
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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