Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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