Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
