How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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