so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
