maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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