Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
