Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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