I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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