Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
