someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
