I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you guys were way drunker than both of me
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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