Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
