you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize