I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
