so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
