Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
