Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
