so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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