See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
