these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
