so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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