Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
