he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
