I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
