Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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